Good afternoon family.
A friend passed along an article about a 37-year-old perpetually single woman who after years of failed romances, flings, and paramours, has decided to start dating, in her words, “a grown-ass man.” You can read it HERE.
Let me give you the four reasons she lists: 1) He’s thoughtful; 2) He’s “alpha-dude” sexy 3) He knows himself; 4) He’s protective & chivalrous.
After a discussion with said friend who passed this article to me, she suggested I write the male version of this article. So in the short time I have today, and before my wrists succumb to fatigue, here is my list, limited to four reasons of course (I could come up with dozens), of why its refreshing to (potentially date) a grown-ass woman.
1) She is HERSELF, and no one else.
There is nothing sexier than a woman who is a first rate version of herself. She knows what she wants, she knows how to get it, and she knows HERSELF. Confidence is huge, and believe it or not, girls need game/swag too. There is nothing more boring than having a discussion with a woman who brings nothing of interest to the table. That being said, if that’s who she is, great! At least she is being herself, and not someone else. A woman who is goal-oriented, stable, and focused on herself (how cliché), is a sexy woman in high demand. She isn’t actively looking for a man, but men are naturally attracted, and they’ll go above and beyond to prove it to her.
2) She is extra supportive.
A woman who is supportive of me and my goals is such a valuable asset to have in my corner. The fact of the matter is that the person we date/marry is the person that sees the best and worst in us. They’ll see us at our lowest of lows and they’ll serve a purpose in our lives that no one else can. When a woman is strongly supportive of a man, she empowers him to take risks, overcome obstacles, and motivates him to figuratively move mountains on her behalf. As a result this makes him feel even more masculine, strokes his male ego, and deepens his love and appreciation for her. In other words, listen carefully: by supporting him, she is investing in herself and her relationship. Let that sink in for a minute. Repeat it until you get it. This is the classic example from my favorite dating book The 5 Love Languages: you speak and act with each other in such a way that you “fill up” the other’s love bucket until it overflows into other areas of their life, professional and personal.
3) She is wise & observant of her shortcomings.
Can we be honest? Of course we can, this is MY blog. Women are sometimes irrational, unstable, and insecure; I (as well as you) should love them anyway, despite their flaws. (Men are the second greatest contributor to women’s insecurities; other women are the first, but that’s for another blog). When I say that she is wise and observant of her shortcomings, I’m speaking of those times where she knows she is being irrational, she is keenly aware of it, and can communicate that to me. It makes things so much easier for both of us because, at that point, we can discuss why she feels like acting irrationally is the best way to display her feelings. These difficult discussions lead to a greater depth of communication which further enhances the value of the relationship we’ve built. Furthermore, a side benefit of this kind of woman is that she doesn’t let baggage from previous relationships affect her current one. Ladies please note: DO NOT punish the current man in your life for mistakes that past ones have made. We all lose in that situation.
4) She doesn’t nag, she simply acts.
A woman who nags, is a woman who is on her way out the door. There is nothing worse than hearing the constant refrain of complaints a nagging woman. Don’t nag a man into submission, that is a breakdown in communication. While you may ultimately receive the object of your complaints, its a pyrrhic victory. Nagging to get what you want is a breakdown in communication and is counterproductive to the health of the relationship. Instead of nagging, just act. Example: Let’s say you need your guy to clean the gutters, or take out the trash. Ask once, remind them once, and then after that, simply do it yourself. Nothing makes me more accountable or makes me reflect more on my action or inaction than watching a woman do something she repeatedly asked me to do. Its a wake up call to a man, a win for a woman, and you skip out on the frustration that stems from nagging a man about his failure to complete a task. Next time, instead of nagging, just act; it’ll be to the benefit of the relationship’s bottom line.
As always comments, complaints, etc. are welcome.
I love you all, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
~JW
Thoughts From a Young Legal Mind... 